Hey Simon. Long time no see!
Let’s get straight to the point: Controlling your surfing habits is difficult. There’s a good chance its gonna be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever attempt to do (from a willpower/self-improvement point of view).
At the beginning, when you’re motivated to change, it seems so easy. I’m pretty sure most people on here start with 100% confidence and pure motivation to turn their life around. I’d guess nearly everybody on here acted impulsively when signing up in this forum and starting to use it. I mean, why wouldn’t you? It’s free and available at all times.
But then, after your motivation dwindles and you’re forced to work with your willpower, and nothing else, things seem bleak and you relapse.
After your relapse, you think “That’s it! I have to take this seriously! I want to change!”. This is usually followed by a time of extreme motivation and willpower which usually leads to some quality time away from the internet, which you spend with new hobbies or friends and family.
But then you too mild on yourself. You don’t control yourself as strictly as you previously had. You think you’ve conquered your surfing habits. You let yourself go. After some time, you realize what’s going on, what’s become of you. You’ve become your old self again.
Does this sound familiar? Of course it does; you’re currently living it. You’ve been through this. Hell, I have been through this. A lot of people on here have been through this.
It’s not a NoSurf specific problem. This “cycle” happen every time you try to overcome deeply ingrained habits and routines. Be it alcohol abuse, drugs or trying to maintain a healthy diet after not doing so for a long amount of time.
Trying to overcome yourself is always difficult.
What you need to remember is that, you’re at a point that so many people have never or will never reach.
Remember the second phase I mentioned, after your initial motivation disappears and you have to rely on your willpower? There are so many accounts on this site made by people who never reached that phase. People who have created a journal posted one entry, and were never seen again. Accounts with >1 minute read time. Or accounts that didn’t even post anything at all!
(Please don’t see this as me talking down to these people; that’s not the point I’m trying to make)
You’ve come so far, made so much progress. Don’t give up now!
We’re in the exact same situation. Remember what you wrote in your response to my journal entry?
You’re not alone
That’s what you wrote. You’re not alone. Because it’s true. There are a lot of people that are in a similar situation—me for example.
What can you do to get out of this situation? To be honest, I don’t know. If I knew that, I wouldn’t feel terrible about myself at the moment, but here we are.
But there is a way. I know there is. Maybe this is the “main” challenge in all of this. Not the previous experiences we’ve had. Not the previous relapses. Not the previous successes either.
I’m pretty sure this, right now, is the true start of our “NoSurf journey”. So why stop now?