I’m writing this journal now because I want to help myself face these negative emotions that I’ve been ignoring since I was 12. I’ve been ignoring it by using social media and facing it head-on is really hard. I’ve been using social media to cope with loneliness and I don’t really know on how to get rid of it.
It’s really sad to know that my life outside the internet is so boring. I’m living in a countryside in a third world country so clubs, classes and therapies doesn’t exist here. We have classes but only during Summer. The only option for socializing here is church. I don’t go to church right now, people there are passive-aggressive because of me being agnostic (or maybe I’m in the wrong church). Man, I feel lonely because there’s not much option when it comes to meeting people. So I’m inside of my house for the whole day. Playing guitar, drawing and learning Korean, I hope that I can do it with my friends too. Oh yeah, I have friends but they’re really far , I moved in and I only meet them once a week. I hope that I’m living in a first world country because there are many options to meet people compared to this place.
Loneliness, the root of my issue is the one that’s causing me to relapse and my progress to plateau. I will be writing here my progress on dealing with the root of the issue.