Dealing with Negative Emotions - Gensargento's Journal


#1

I’m writing this journal now because I want to help myself face these negative emotions that I’ve been ignoring since I was 12. I’ve been ignoring it by using social media and facing it head-on is really hard. I’ve been using social media to cope with loneliness and I don’t really know on how to get rid of it.

It’s really sad to know that my life outside the internet is so boring. I’m living in a countryside in a third world country so clubs, classes and therapies doesn’t exist here. We have classes but only during Summer. The only option for socializing here is church. I don’t go to church right now, people there are passive-aggressive because of me being agnostic (or maybe I’m in the wrong church). Man, I feel lonely because there’s not much option when it comes to meeting people. So I’m inside of my house for the whole day. Playing guitar, drawing and learning Korean, I hope that I can do it with my friends too. Oh yeah, I have friends but they’re really far , I moved in and I only meet them once a week. I hope that I’m living in a first world country because there are many options to meet people compared to this place.

Loneliness, the root of my issue is the one that’s causing me to relapse and my progress to plateau. I will be writing here my progress on dealing with the root of the issue.


#2

Yeah, doing that is really so important. It was only once my depression started to get better that I realized that it was one of the main roots of my addiction. I didn’t feel good and so I used the internet to fill the void. However, the internet is still an inherently medium for many of us, so you might find that you still have to put in some work to regulate yourself but it’ll be MUCH MUCH easier.

I also know what you mean when you describe the state of most 3rd world countries. I’m an immigrant from a 3rd world country but I’ve spent a lot of time back in my home country too. It really is incredibly boring. Most people seem to settle for sleeping or eating or watching television when there is free time. Sometimes they’ll talk to neighbours too or call people on their phone. It’s a simple lifestyle. However, I still think it’s to find happiness in this simple lifestyle if you regularly practice gratitude and try not compare your lifestyle to those in the 1st world so much.

Good luck :slight_smile:


#3

@omeleteeto I think you’re right, living here is so simple and to practice gratitude on this lifestyle is the best way to go. There’s not much to do here so I decided to go to my friend’s house 2x a week to hangout even though it’s really far.


#4

So I tried using an app called “Neargroup” to find someone near to talk to every afternoon for 30 minutes. There’s not so much option here for meeting friends so I tried using that app. I already found 1 and our house is 4 kms away. I’m planning to meet up but I don’t have any idea on what to do when we meet.

For the past 2 days, I play with my dogs and cats when I’m bored and I think it’s a good way to tackle loneliness for me.


#5

Mark,

That app sounds cool I’ve used similar. I don’t know if this exists where you are but you can also try “Patook”.

I’ve posted a reading list that you might want to read through particularly two books Psycho-Cybernetics and As A Man Thinketh. They’ll help you reframe the current situation and hammer in constructive positive thinking for the future. Although you are definitely on the right track by seeking out friends and finding ways to get over loneliness.


#6

Thanks for the suggestion @Nik! I will try reading it.

I haven’t tried Patook, and I think it’s not that popular here. Facebook and Messengers have free internet access here that’s why chatbots like Neargroup is super popular. I’ll try reading the book that you suggested, I think it will help me a lot.


#7

I tried reaching out to my friends from my former classmates when I was in 10th grade. Unfortunately, they’re content just chatting online and they have hundred reasons to not meet up. I asked them on what do they do after classes and it’s really sad. They open their social media and then chat with their friends and they only meet up when they’re in school. They can “easily” cope with loneliness because of social media and it’s the same case for me. Now that I don’t use social media that much, I’m feeling that loneliness that I’ve been ignoring over the past few years.

We have free internet access on Facebook and Messenger that’s why social media is super popular here. And here is the proof

My country, Philippines is no.2 in “Time Spent Per Day on the Internet”(9 hrs and 38 minutes) and no.1 in “Time Spent on Social Media”(3 hrs and 57 minutes) As of January 2018.

source: https://digitalreport.wearesocial.com/


#8

November 9, 2018

I’ve been always playing with my pets now instead of mindless surfing and I think it’s one of the best way for me to cope with loneliness. We have many cats and dogs here and I tend to ignore them in the past. Back then, I always ignore them and it’s a hassle to play with them because I think it’s more fun in social media. For now, I can cope with loneliness because of our pets but I’m still striving for in real life interaction with my friends.