NoSurf Struggles and Escapism
So I’ve wrote about escapism on here before, and how the internet was pretty much my go to for running away from my issues and responsibilities until the last minute, and annoyingly I’ve starting to regress back into that.
Exam times are conducive to stress, and with that comes wanting to run away from it. I did quite well this exam period with keeping away from situations where I could browse online. This meant studying with a study buddy, and studying at the library (I’ve found a new favourite study spot ) , but once I got home I would often be very unproductive due to giving myself the excuse of not wanting to study more after having spent the day on it.
Netflix has been a big issue with this, but thankfully still almost no reddit. I did go to check the top headlines in the political sub the last few days, so I need to stop doing that because that’s one of the primary things I wanted to avoid.
Similarly, I’ve been trying to spend as much time as possible with a good friend who is going back overseas soon, so trying to balance that with everything has been difficult, and I’ve been sacrificing gym and study to spend time with her.
There is a large divide between where I was a 1 month ago and where I am now, largely due to the change in my responsibilities. I no longer have multiple assignments or the internship, instead it was just 3 exams to study for, which meant that I couldn’t just switch tasks when I was bored as there wasn’t much variety in them, and similarly I wasn’t completing multiple things in a day. i.e. before I’d spend the day at the internship, then come home and maybe do some study, and then go to the gym, whereas now I’ve just been studying during the day, and either going home and putting of going to the gym to half heartedly study, or spending time with my friend at night.
I felt more content back then, but I think I feel happier now because
I’ve got 1 last exam in a few days, and then my semester is over and I’ll have 3 months of free time so it will be difficult to stave off mindless browsing unless I’m busy.
Some people really value their free time, and I’ll get to a place like that when I’m older I’m sure, but at the moment I just really want to stay busy because I know that my free time is just wasted with useless things, and so I’d rather get things out of staying busy, then get no real enjoyment out of my free time. Figuring out what I actually enjoy is hard but worth it, but right now all I’ve got is travelling that I’m certain of.
Plan for the Break
Last year I couldn’t wait for my break to arrive, where as I really wish I could keep doing classes now haha.
I’ll be on holidays for around 3.5 weeks, broken up into intervals, which will be fun, but those are in December and February, so I need to plan around that.
In January I might take some extra classes to help get ahead a bit on my degree, so that I have spare units to complete a math minor later on without having to overload on subjects. It will also keep me busy which I’ll be looking forward to, but I need to organise that dates due to some clashing with my last holiday.
I’ve also got the task of having to start building up a data science portfolio, because apparently those are really good to have now when trying to get your first job, and it seems like the most worthwhile thing I could do at the moment to get better with my programming and also my stats and analytics skills.
I’m kind of preparing myself to not do as well as I was hoping this semester which sucks because I’ve put in more effort this semester than in any other. I’ll still do better than in the past, but I don’t think it’ll be that much better, but a big difference I’ve found is that I’ve understood the class content to a far deeper extent that before when I’d just rote learn everything before an exam and forget about it, and I think that is why I’ve enjoyed the subjects much more than usual. I’ll still probably forget this semester’s content after a few moths haha, but it’ll be easier to recollect if I ever need it again.
Things to Focus on:
- Study for my last exam
- Meditate at night
- Don’t watch Netflix at night
- Keep away mindless browsing