Reason 2: I want to get my doctoral degree.
Back to day 1 again. I started talking to my wife about the problem, but the anxiety around it literally swallowed me whole. I used before I really even talked to her about it, but I feel like I will never succeed at this if I don’t have her back. Today she and I are sitting down and I am telling her that she is helping me. I’m sure that sounds harsh to many of you, but she has been wishy washy in the past about helping me when I give all of these reasons why I need her help. The truth is that I do so much for her, and I ask so little of her. She is helping me. I don’t need her to do the work for me. I don’t need her to watch my every move. I need someone who can do the following things for me:
- Be there for me to say, “This is what tomorrow will look like.”
- Be someone I can reach out to when I am feeling like crap.
- Be someone who can plan with me.
I’m not going to get into the emotion of it with her. I am telling her that it is a bad habit that I want to get rid of and our life will never feel good enough to me if I don’t get rid of it. She is going to have to help me or it is all but guaranteed that this relationship will eventually go down the drain. This isn’t sustainable. Wish me luck folks. It is going to be one hell of a day.