Back After Relapsing


#1

Hey guys, I’m Ramirez. I haven’t been here in a while and I don’t even know if this is the proper place to post this but here goes.

A few months ago, I wrote my success story on these forums to which I received some really nice and thoughtful replies. It felt great being “successful”. I’m ashamed to admit that didn’t last very long. I relapsed. My addictive behavior isn’t not as bad as it used to be. However, I have to be honest with myself and you guys because I can hardly call myself successfull anymore. I have had days where I spent my entire time surfing. I hardly got anything done. I didn’t think much of it at first. I kept saying that it isn’t as bad as what it used to be and so it’s okay to let one or two days slip although recently, I have had entire days where I would just sit in front of screens doing nothing but surfing when I could’ve been doing something much more productive. My status as a grade A student is getting harder and harder to maintain.

I think this is a good first step. To let it all out there because I have been lying to myself a lot of times saying I don’t have a problem with surfing anymore but I can’t keep saying that when there’s obviously an underlying problem that keeps popping up. I guess this is to also tell you guys that wherever you are with nosurf, don’t lose sight of what you learned and what you’re in here for because I have turned a blind eye to that for a long time and now I’m back here again. Enough is enough and it’s time to take care of things again. I really just wanted to let this all out so thank you for reading, whoever you are, and good luck to both me and you.


#2

Hey Ramez! I’m glad (?) to hear from you again but considering the circumstance of your return to the forum, I guess “glad” is the wrong word to use here.

Replasing happens to absolutely everybody. Happened to me recently as well which is why I kind of have to start at the beginning again. But oh well, what happens, happens.

It’s great that you’ve accepted your situation and stopped pretending that everything is alright. Lying to ourselves because we don’t want to accept certain negative aspects/situations in our lifes is (sadly) a normal reaction. Ignoring the false truths we tend to tell ourselves and accepting something the way it truly is, is crucial for recovery.

You managed to get your internet habits under control before, so I’m certain you’ll be able to do it again!


#3

Hey Ramirez! Thanks for being so honest and sharing your experiences. I’ve had something similar happen before, and like you’ve already realized yourself, the first step in getting better was being honest and recognizing that my browsing habits were no longer under my control.

I suspect that stumbling after an initial success is part of many NoSurfer’s journeys. And I think it’s actually good thing.

My own personal stumbling humbled me and made me realize the advice you’re offering everyone here, that you have to constantly remain vigilant and not listen to the little voice inside your head that tries to excuse the behavior you know deep down is problematic.

I also think the stumbles help build resilience. I’ve always really liked the japanese proverb Nana korobi ya oki. It means fall down seven times, get up eight.

8 months ago when sharing my success story, I wrote:

If it were easy it wouldn’t be worth posting about. A story of adventure in which the characters reach their destination in the first chapter wouldn’t be worth reading.

The difficulty involved in an achievement is the very thing that gives the achievement meaning.

I still feel that way today, and I think that one day you will look back on this stumbling block with gratitude for all that it will teach you, and the inspiration it will serve to others in the future.

Do you have any thoughts on a gameplan this time around? Anything you’re going to do that worked the first time? Anything you’re going to change?

Really interested to hear about your approach since you have experience with making a positive change (your first success story) and might be able to offer valuable insights to others in the community.


#4

Thank you man. I really hope so too


#5

Thank you for the encouragement man. I really appreciate it. As for the gameplan well… The short answer is no. I’m trying the things that worked for me before, however, I know they’re not gonna be enough. I’m going to probably be looking for phases in which I’ll turn my phone off to focus on my work unless I need it in the thing I wanna do. I’m also going to try to balance things out with willpower (spending it wisely, trying not to exhaust my resources too much) I feel like I haven’t been focusing on these things as much as I have which might perhaps be the reason falling back down but oh well. What happened happened. I can only try again so here we go!


#6

It’s all about getting back on the horse again! The more you fall off, the better you’ll become at climbing back on again and hopefully it will happen quicker than last time.

Best of luck!


#7

Thank you man. Really appreciate it